Hospitality: Adding Gravity to Your Household

Automated transcript of the sermon audio, generated with OpenAI Whisper (small.en). It has not been checked against the recording and may contain errors, especially in names and Scripture references.

Well, we continue our series on the household by looking together at hospitality. And in the interest of having some common language, we begin with the definition. Hospitality, according to Oxford, is the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, and strangers. That’s fine. It’s even helpful. The friendly and generous part by inference, if the friendly and generous parts are omitted from that, then it is not by its definition hospitable. But I prefer to think of hospitality more broadly and deeply than this. I would argue the hospitality involves showing honor to image bearers. I prefer this definition because what passes at hospitality in many circles today would not meet the definition that I just offered.

The hospitality industry, of course, is just fine, but it’s more concerned with profits than it is people. And even in his book, Unreasonable Hospitality, what’s his name? Will Gadara says that hospitable people and people who feed on hospitality are alike, selfish. So the idea of blessing others being something that is deeply satisfying fuels that even among the secularists, even the ancients practiced hospitality. The Greeks believed that the traveler was sacred to Zeus. And so if you encountered a traveler on the road, there was a very good possibility you were being tested by Zeus, and you may be entertaining a god.

Of course, we see that happen before the Greek pantheon had its heyday when Abraham was doing the same thing, entertaining gods unawares. So sure, the ancients could do hospitality. They could do a good thing and they could even do it well, but they may do it for the wrong reasons just like many moderns do. So a helpful question to ask when it comes to the matter of hospitality is, but why? Why? Are we practicing hospitality like Jay Gatsby in order to make a name for ourselves while maybe even being aloof? Or are we practicing hospitality like our savior who washed the feet of his disciples. And likewise, ended up making a name for himself along the way.

So it is important for us to consider why. And even in scripture, we find different types of hospitality, so that broader definition that I suggested, which again was showing honor to image bearers, that’s hospitality. That carries within a breadth of applications. And I see multiple different types of hospitality in the Bible. others that type of welcoming others into your home. That is, I think the connotation of Titus chapter 1 verse 8 and 1 Timothy 3, 2 where Paul is giving qualifications for elders, I’ll get into that here in a little bit. It’s also there in chapter 5 of 1 Timothy verse 10. Just briefly, I’ll read that.

Let a widow be enrolled, says Paul, If she’s not less than 60 years of age, having been the wife of one husband and having a good reputation, a reputation for good works, if she’s brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted and has devoted herself to every good work. So the assumption there is that somebody, a widow who’s worthy of support by the church will be one who has been hospitable to others. Another type of hospitality we see in scripture is providing for the needs and comforts of others. And, of course, an excellent example here is the Good Samaritan of Luke chapter 10, and that’s a pretty familiar story, but it’s important to remember too, the man who was beaten and left for dead on the road was not in a position to repay or to ask for or to thank the Samaritan, but the Samaritan, surely altruistically, out of his own resources than time and the rest sought to meet the needs of that victim.

And he was one who was regarded as a neighbor, if you recall the context. Another is doing good, and this one is similar, doing good for those who cannot repay you. And so the one whom the Samaritan helped was not able to repay him. We see this in Luke chapter 14 verses 12 through 14 where Jesus says the following.

It says here Jesus said to the man who had invited him when you give a dinner or a banquet Do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or your rich neighbors Lest they invite you in return and you be repaid But when you give a feast invite the poor the crippled the lame the blind and you will be blessed Because they cannot repay you for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just so That is a that’s interesting. So that removes from the equation the possibility of exercising hospitality in order to to incur a debt Or to to impose a debt on somebody else and to have them in your debt and feeling a sense of obligation to repay you They have no means to do so. Those are the ones that is the idea that Jesus is talking about and then there’s a type of hospitality that involves making an environment alluring.

I look over here at Ginger Herr, and she’s actually training a whole generation of young ladies to do this right now, to make an environment especially alluring, particularly for its occupants. Since this part of a series on the household, I would like to spend the remainder of our time focusing on this particular aspect of hospitality and how we can then add the right kind of gravity to our households. What must we do to make our homes the kind of place where our people want to be?

Especially those people who share our last names. Well, I would argue that the best thing that you can do to make your home a spiritual vortex with the gravity drawing it in is to be ruthless with your own sin. The best thing you can do to make your home a spiritual vortex is to be ruthless with your sin. In his book, Brothers We Are Not Professionals, John Piper asks his brother pastors some helpful rhetorical questions. He says, are our packed calendars and our handheld computers really fulfilling our hunger for life in Christ, let alone the hunger of our people in the world? Are not our people really yearning to be around a man who’s been around God?

Are not our people really yearning to be around a man who’s been around God? To be sure, the pastor’s personal holiness is of greater value than his ministry calendar, to be sure. One renders him busy, the other renders him effective. And likewise, people are yearning to be around a man who is violent with his own personal sin, and I would argue that this is a critical ingredient to Christian hospitality. Households with people in them who are striving to keep short accounts with one another also have people who actually want to be there. Striving for fellowship is itself a vehicle for the honor of others, and when others see it they want in.

How can we regard a household to have been well-managed when nobody wants to be there? or when the members of that household don’t want to invite others to partake of their fellowship. Hospitality then is the outflow of fellowship. And God has existed in perfect fellowship in three persons from eternity past. And we have been invited into that fellowship and Christ affected that fellowship at Calvary. And it is something that we too cannot repay. That is hospitable. It comes as little surprise then that Paul lists hospitality among his qualifications for elders. In 1 Timothy chapter 3 verses 1 through 7 he says this, and I’ll read the whole paragraph because well, hospitality is buried deep in there.

The saying is trustworthy. If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober minded, self controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well with all dignity keeping his children submissive. For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders so that he may not fall into disgrace into the snare of the devil.” So, like I said, I read the whole paragraph because I wanted you to see how hospitable is buried deep in there. It’s often overlooked. It’s way back there in verse 2. It doesn’t even merit a footnote in the ESV study Bible. I mean, that is like next level irrelevance.

It doesn’t get one in Titus chapter 1 verse 8 in the ESV study Bible either. I mean tragic. By the way, there are other study resources out there beyond the ESV study Bible. It was a cursory look. I wonder if it’s because the notion is so self-evident or because it’s so simple, but how many of us ignore simple concepts? in fact, the simple concepts are the ones that are easiest to push aside. How many pastors, let alone their sheep, just want to be left alone? Too many, I’m afraid. And they employ all kinds of excuses. I’m an introvert at heart. My house is too small. Hospitality is expensive. I don’t have time.

Blah, blah, blah. Hogwash. Here’s an excuse for you. The fellowship I now enjoy is perfect, and the inclusion of others will only introduce sin. The only one to ever be able to give that very legitimate excuse is God. And what did he do? Out of love, he drew sinners into his circle. That ultimate act of hospitality is God inviting us into his household by adoption while we were yet sinners. So in a very real sense, when we behave hospitably, we are God-like. So hospitality is a communicable attribute of the Lord. When we forgive others, we’re acting like God does. When we adopt, we are acting like God does. When we are hospitable, we’re acting like God does.

How many of you in this room, this is a fun question, how many of you in this room have been to not one not two but all of the elders plus Phillips house go ahead okay so for the recording that’s about 60% I would guess how many have been to say three or more three or more not not all of them but three or more I know the numbers higher than that but yeah okay so but that’s great and that’s not exceptional because it’s supposed to be normal. I do think it, at least it’s not exceptional by the standard of what ought to be, by the standard of what the world employs currently today, it’s uncommon. It’s uncommon. So it would seem as though hospitality, given that it’s on the list of things for an elder to be identified by, and given that it is God-like, is in fact important.

And yeah, pastors should be exemplary in the area then of honoring other people. Consider with me the alternative. Have you ever stepped into a room where the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife? Have you ever, no show of hands necessary this time.

Okay, actually, you can show hands, but I’m not going to ask you to on this next one. For how many have you had that happen in your own house? Or for how many have you sensed the tension when you walked in? Or did you bring it with you? Yeah. Well, yeah, I have. It’s been my house way too many times. And as soon as I step in, I want to step back out again. And too many times, the problem follows me right out the door because I brought it in the first place. That’s not hospitality. There’s an anti-example for you.

Now some people hate the presence of holiness and so that’s why they walk into your home and they want back out again. Unfortunately that’s the case in far too many of our homes. Maybe, maybe, maybe your fellowship is repugnant to the world. Maybe our call then is to have a hospitality, a spirit of hospitality to them as well and the idea is for their comfort along with your personal holiness to goad them to repentance, to provoke them. That’s the way it is supposed to work in the economy of God. Dealing with personal sin is a key to maintaining healthy relationships. That’s true on the cosmic level, that’s true on the micro level.

And so our problem with God is sin. Sin alienates us from Him, it estranges us from Him, Even as his children, when we sin, our relationship with him is strained, and so it is not right again until we seek forgiveness, we repent, and then we’re restored to fellowship with our Heavenly Father, and of course, we see that on the relational level here on earth as well. A home where the occupants are not tolerating sin in their own hearts and attitudes will have a fragrant spiritual aroma. A home that is marked by grace and patience with others who are struggling with sin will still be affected by the presence of that sin, but it’ll have a gracious straw.

So again, if the home is marked by grace and patience with somebody who’s struggling with sin, of course there is still going to be the consequence of whatever sin is there on the home. However, the gracious presence is still going to be alluring. So it is not to say that it has to be perfect, that your household has to be sinless before it can be hospitable.

But that violence with personal sin that presence of grace are going to be far more alluring than a clean bathroom or chocolates on the pillows in the guest bedroom. Homes that are characterized by frequent repentance are characterized by fellowship. You cannot have right fellowship and harbor sin at the same time. You cannot have right fellowship and harbor sin at the same time. You can have a sinful fellowship between two, say, fornicating pagans, but that’s not what we’re talking about. That is not a formula for flourishing and that’s not what we’re built for and it cannot affect lasting let alone ultimate happiness. The aroma then that accompanies frequent repentance is sweet and fruits of frequent repentance include personal holiness, rich fellowship and an invisible gravity. It’s said that when a star collapses it creates a black hole and The gravitational pull is so strong that even light is drawn into it.

Your home can have that sort of spiritual gravity where all who love righteousness and many who do not will still want to be there. And the best thing you can do to introduce that kind of gravity is to be ruthless with your sin. So I’m arguing that this is the substance of real hospitality. So I’m trying here to make the case that the most hospitable thing you can do is to repent. And if you want to make your household alluring, then make sure it’s characterized by fellowship. And if you want to pursue fellowship, keep short accounts between you and God and between yourself and others. Parents ought to be mindful of how they can make their homes alluring.

And there are a number of reasons for this, but I’ll include two for now, namely your neighbors and your grandkids. your neighbors. Few things befuddle secularists more than Christians in fellowship. And your neighbors are watching and they’re listening and they’re scratching their heads. Ours is a culture where adversarial familial relationships are normal. Children hate their parents, parents hate their kids, parents hate each other, kids hate each other. Everybody wants out. And when the world sees a household, a household of people who actually like each other because they’re in fellowship and they love each other and they’re fighting their own personal sin.

And if the vibe of the house is welcoming, like a house on a hill with the lights on, eager to draw others in, it’s provocative and attractive. I think I qualify that because we’re friends here. We’ve all seen the weird Christians. Some of us have been the weird Christians where it’s like they’re happy and I want nothing to be, they’re like, they’re like a cult in their own house. So that doesn’t have that kind of gravity. That it also is necessarily a force field, it’s just neutral. It’s kind of like okay, they’ll do their thing, I’m going to do mine, I just prefer to be left alone. But when it is characterized by all those things I just said.

So they’re actually liking each other, they’re pursuing fellowship, they’re fighting their own personal sin and they’re eager to draw others in? That is sweet. That’s alluring, it’s attractive. So that’s your neighbor. Second, I would say your grandkids. Do you want for your own kids to get out of the house as soon as possible? If so, then just abandon everything I suggested. Allow personal sin, irritability, and discord to prevail. Have a critical spirit dominating the home. your own personal comfort and pride over your fellowship and don’t ever admit you’re wrong.

Ever. And in short, create an environment from which your kids will want to escape as quickly as possible. And then when they’re off on their own establishing and growing their own families, they may make the obligatory visit back to Grandma and Grandpa’s place on holidays. And then they will duck out as quickly as is politely possible in order to recover from their visit to you. I doubt this sounds good to you. I certainly hope it doesn’t. It doesn’t sound good to me either. I do want my home to be alluring for its occupants so that not so that they’ll never leave, but so that they’ll have the right things to take with them when they do.

And then so they’ll come back often and bring my eager grandchildren with them. So your grandkids. The good life people is not being left alone. alone, no matter if you are an introvert. The good life is lived for and with others, and a spirit of hospitality is essential to this. Yeah, for my part, one nice thing about this is that for all of my shortcomings as a husband, father, and neighbor, this is not something that I can do nothing about. So it’s not as though wherever I am, it just happened to me. It is something that I created and I can fix with the help of the spirit, of course. But by repentance and by being quick to confess, say, and keep short accounts, and actually make the home alluring.

We can all do something about that. I can repent and cultivate personal holiness in myself and show my family the sweetness of fellowship. And that is actually a way that as the father in the house, I can take responsibility for my family’s situation. and being able to do so is of course a grace from the Lord. And I would encourage you to do likewise, and then finally I would leave you with this. Given that hospitality is a mindset, that eliminates all excuses.

You can be hospitable without spending a dime, without baking fresh bread, or without a big fat dining room or table to match. If you wish to honor others from your heart, the results will be quick and effective and the actions will follow shortly. So if your heart is right, the actions will follow. Let’s pray. Father, thank you that you have been hospitable with us, that you have, while we were yet sinners, sent Christ to die for us, and you have folded us into the fellowship that you have enjoyed amongst yourself, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for all of eternity.

And we pray that we would go and do likewise, and we would be glad to live in, live our lives honoring others and may that be fruitful and sweet and have the right kind of gravity in our in our own households but then also as this church body comprises multiple families we pray then that that would have a right kind of gravity for this church community overall and even Marysville little by little as we all begin with our own hearts and beginning them right before for you and being in fellowship with one another. We pray this in Christ’s name, amen. Now, in a slight breach of protocol, if there is such a thing as protocol when it comes to this, we’re going to take a short break so that you can get some refreshments.

Now, the refreshments are light. Don’t get your hopes up. I don’t know what Sonya got, but it’s not much. But if you want, you can go grab, there is some coffee, there’s some water, that I really have no idea what else is out there on that door, so I might be getting myself in trouble. But if you want, you can grab something, and then come back here, and we’ll ask some Q&A. And I hope somebody asked the question about abusing hospitality and violating the spirit of hospitality as a guest, because there’s a lot you just can’t include. But there’s a softball I’m lobbying you. All right, so let’s take just a few minutes.

Finger of vittles on in here. We have our first question from the gallery. So is there ever a time that, so okay, so hospitality, showing honor to your guests. Is there ever a time where you have your guests and you are, in order to be hospitable, not doing what they want? Like, is there ever a time where it is actually more hospitable to not do what they want. Can you give an example where that might, what an example of the kind of thing you’re talking about? So actually when we went to Canlis and they were asking us about hospitality and they’re serving strangers all the time and they’re not, they are not Christians but they have a lot of Christian values.

They ask the question of if a guest is acting dishonorably, but they want to stay, but they are not adding to the atmosphere. Basically, if a guest wants one thing, but it’s not actually a blessing, then they’re like, well, do we accommodate them, or do we accommodate the waiters? So they were asking us that. Yeah, that’s a good question, and I think that there’s a difference between accommodating and honoring. So it is possible to still be honoring the individual while telling him no. Let’s say your guest wants one more drink when he should have stopped two ago. do honor him and by doing so, provoke him to sin and also introduce a serious level of dishonor for all the other guests present.

And I’ll take this as an opportunity to talk about the abuse of hospitality piece. It does actually cut both ways. And honestly, it has pretty far reaching application for guests as well. So it is a spirit of hospitality for a guest would require that he show honor to his host as well. So if you go to a restaurant and you act like a buffoon, it is not honoring the other guests for them to allow you to remain. All in the name of honoring that request. So I would say in that case it would be totally appropriate and hospitable to ask that person to leave.

of that that has that’s a that’s a good example with I think pretty far-reaching application but the the same so hospitality as a guest is all of the same things we talked about in the same in principle the application is just in reverse but the but right it’s just on the receiving end but showing honor to others receiving graciously and so on so if you have a guest who is not honoring the spirit of hospitality than the whole thing works about as well as a household where you have just one person who’s regularly repenting of sin. Is that better than none? A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. But it also is not anywhere near what it could be. Others. Yes sir. Okay so there’s this guy who’s kind of a woke theologian. His name is Soong Chan-Ra. He’s a theologian at Fuller Theological Seminary, which I think has gone liberal now.

But his argument is Christians, in the 60s, since the 50s and 60s, left the major cities in what was called white flight. And they left, because of the black migration into the inner cities. And his argument is something like Christians should have stayed there and should have cultivated relationships and hospitality with people who were coming in and not left. And my answer to that would be, if I were a single missionary and had no family, I don’t have a problem with that. But I’m not going to put my family in danger. So I’m just wondering how you would interact with that kind of logic. So the question is one of what sort of principles would I use to inform what our family would do in that situation?

A judgment call? Yeah. That’s good. And I’ll thank the dad here for a moment. My first responsibility is to my own household. And we’ve all of us heard too many sad stories of vocational ministers who have neglected their families in the name of ministry duties. And that would be a case where you feel a call to remain and you lose your family along the way. That would obviously be bad. If your family was excited to stay and be instruments of change in the community, great. You can do that. So I think it would have to be a decision that you would make informed by lots of wise counsel and prayer. But I don’t think but I do think in the end it’s a judgment call kind of like going to the mission field would be saying the same principles have to apply there.

Yeah. Would you add to that. Yeah. I that is an interesting question because are we to change who we are. It’s like, okay, I’m gonna become a missionary to German people. If I don’t learn how to speak the language and I’m not committed to move to Germany and live there the rest of my life, why do they think I’m even gonna give them the truth? But I can stay here and find a German person and have that connection and disciple them and then that sphere of influence of that person can do that. It’s a little off base from what Jeff is asking Because I think that’s what we’re trying to say here. Make Marysville great again, or make Marysville great is that kind of thing.

Don’t raise your kids up to leave and go to some great place. Let’s make this a place that is gathering in people. And the city government, because we’re part of somebody, they wanna make it more inviting to those people. So we’re getting that influence coming to us. and we can be that hospitality to those people. So that’s a, it’s a really interesting question of that whole thing of, are you willing to give your life up for somebody else? And like you said, if you’ve got a family, you don’t wanna ditch that family into some mess in the inner city that you probably have no idea even how to navigate it, you know?

Some white bread in the middle of Harlem is, you know, you can, especially in the 60s. I mean, I used to go up there and talk to the Muslims, you know, on the street corner, the black Muslims, and they were very friendly on the street corner, but you knew underneath, they were, you know, what are you doing asking me a question? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, cause Dave was talking to me, like a microphone like that. Though, I mean, in the varieties of definitions or kinds of hospitality that you mentioned that are in scripture. I mean isn’t it the majority probably Old Testament and New Testament are a lot are a lot more about strangers maybe or people that you’d be uncomfortable with. So difference between putting yourself in danger but also not just doing whatever is comfy. So potentially lots of strangers, you know, which is why, you know, entertaining angels unaware is because you didn’t know who they were at all as men, let alone as potentially angels. So, I mean, because I like the idea of making our homes a-luring, but in terms of how even And some of the last couple questions relate to showing honor outside of our comfort zones.

Is that a ball on a tee that you could hit for a minute? Showing honor outside of our comfort zones. So I was focusing this evening’s talk on the household, as I mentioned, for the reasons that are obvious. And what do we do under our own roofs to make our own roofs places of hospitality? I’m pretty convinced that what we are doing as a church, or at least what we’re trying to do as a church, which is a body comprising lots of families, and our health as a church will bring about the health of the families, the spiritual health of the families, and that is going to be itself, that is going to create a cultural gravity.

Well, right like the lady who read the gospel comes with the house key and Rosari Butterfield, you know, for not necessarily agreeing with all the things in there. I mean, they were going out of their way to look for uncomfortable opportunities that were, you know, seemed safe, but not comfortable. That was their house having that gravity. And so people were drawn to them as a place that seemed like maybe they had some answers. Yeah, and it is interesting, too, that it’s the progress of Western civilization and the influence of the gospel that has made it that there are things like hotels and shelters today, where you’ve got lot begging men not to stay in the plaza, because he knows what’s gonna happen if they don’t, if they don’t come indoors.

So it is a different time that we’re in now. But the spirit and the principles are still the same. That is that God expects for us to demonstrate care to image bearers for sure. And there is, I think that our comfort zone is actually a lot bigger, as is the sphere of safety than it was then too. So yes, there is I think a special challenge for us to try to get outside of the pale of what is comfortable.

The opportunities are still there if you want them at all. It’s not hard to find them, but it’s also, I think, easier to live and ignore them than it ever has been in history. What else? Mr. Marlat. Thank you, sir. Tell me your thoughts on the spontaneity or the Russian drop-in. Or the church we came from many, many years ago, it was highly encouraged. If you’re in the neighborhood, fellowship with your brother or drop-in and your house should be somewhat open. And I say the Russian, because, you know, they do that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, on that, on both sides, what should be our, as believers or homeowners or whatever, like hey, come in.

Or yeah, but we’re just in the middle of a fight. Let me just square that away real quick so we can make sure our home is, you know. Or on the flip side, as believers, if I’m in the neighborhood, because I live in Lake Stevens, if I’m in the neighborhood, like, eh, should we drop in? We haven’t seen them? You know, is that. Whereas, I mean, there’s wisdom on both sides, but should we veer away from that? Or should we say? I think we totally lean on that and brace it. I think that the spirit goes both ways and is the same. Namely, if you are in the neighborhood, it is consistent with the spirit of hospitality to call on your brother or sister in Christ and say, how are you doing?

And be ready to give your greeting and take off. If you’re invited in at that point, hang out. Yeah. And as a host, I think you should be disposed to be hospitable. Now, that doesn’t mean that you can do it every time. If somebody drops by. Let’s say the Marlots dropped by with breakfast at 7 AM. And half of the people were still asleep in your house.

What would you do then, hypothetically? I’d probably make a memory and get my kids up. Yeah. You probably would. I probably would, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I would say you should be disposed to be hospitable and also recognize that it’s not possible all the time, and that also needs to be the same thing as a guest. I mean, the boars walk by your house like 12 times a day.

And I can go out there and tackle them on the road and say, come in for tea. Or they could just come in, or they couldn’t, and it’s fine, and it’s not weird. And if they did, it’s not weird. And if they don’t, it’s not weird. But also, if we’re in their neighborhood and they see us, they might tackle us and drag us in for tea. And yeah, great. So, but having that disposition to hospitality, giving and receiving, I think is the key. So however you can do that with the, I don’t know, the Slavic surprise is great, right? Yes, Gail. Oh, yes.

We had a rule when we were down in Southern California. David was elder, one of the elders over youth ministry. And we said our house was open anytime that the front porch light was on. And people came and stayed for a little bit. One night we forgot to turn it off. And one of the guys that worked in it said, let’s test it.

It was like one in the morning. Knocked at the door, light was open, David went down. We invited him in, because we made the mistake and that turned the light off. But there was a rule, because nobody really believed, oh, they don’t mean it, but we did. That our house was open to anyone. And we didn’t lock our door, ever. They could have just come in and slept on the couch. Those people never came back because Dave answered the door in his bathrobe, but still. I didn’t even look. Yeah. What else? We good? No? More? Oh, yes. So when you are in fellowship and you are then going to have people over and you’re deciding how the table is going to look and what you’re going to eat, does upping your hospitality game necessarily mean upping the intricacy?

Upping the what? Intricacy. So like does good hospitality necessarily mean more time went into what you’re giving them? Not necessarily. OK. All right. No, by all means. You got the microphone. Literally. I think this is interesting because I have jumped full on the bandwagon of Sean’s message of chicken nugget hospitality. And so, Bazin loves to make things beautiful. And I love seeing beautiful things, but I also would much rather spend my time and energy with people and doing things than making things beautiful.

So, I am thankful for that, but I don’t, it’s a different kind, maybe, but I just wanted to take the moment to say the chicken nugget hospitality is sinking deep into my soul and and I love that you I used to fuss over that kind of stuff a lot more like what recipe and oh my gosh I’ve only tried it twice and is it gonna turn out but you know and you could like it that completely subtracts from all of the all of the stuff and so tidy the house yeah and is it perfectly clean? No it’s not but but we do have chicken nuggets and anybody’s welcome to come in and eat them whether they’re hot out of the oven or if they’ve been sitting on the counter for 30 minutes so you know I just love that idea and I thank Bayesian for continually wanting to make things beautiful.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. They’ll have good fellowship on their drive home tonight about who’s cooking the dino nuggets. Yeah, I would just piggyback on that and say that, yeah, the principle is one of honor. So if I don’t think that having linens and fine china is at its heart any more honoring objectively on its face than your front porch light on and an invitation to come at any time. So if it is born out of honoring other people and then welcoming them in, then they’re both favorites. Dino nuggets or tri-tip? I mean I have my own personal preferences. Yeah, yeah. Well that’s the proverb about dinner of herbs is better than you know fatticap if they’re strife in the house. So if the decorating and the menu is causing stress and strife and or is all about the host’s glory, you know, a Jay Gatsby kind of glory, then it’s not even going to be enjoyable.

That’s a good question. So when Lot, in the ancient world, there was a lot of guests. And a lot of guests means when you’re entertaining somebody or you invite them into your home, their lives are supreme, even over the lives of you and your family. So that’s why a lot offered his virgin daughters and the guy somewhere and judges offered the concubine and his daughter. That’s a cultural rule. That shows how important hospitality was. It was supreme. Obviously, how far do we go in interpreting that? Obviously, I’m not going to do that with my daughter. Yeah, well good, because you’re better than a D plus dad. Yeah, but in that culture, that was expected.

Well, maybe not all the way to what Lott did with his daughters, but it certainly wasn’t surprising, or the offering of your concubine. But fortunately, I lost my train of thought, I got distracted. Fortunately, we don’t have those same, at least in our culture, and it’s not the same the world over, but in our culture it is a lot safer. Travel was dangerous. I mean the story of Joseph and Mary is textbook. You’ve got a woman in labor, like advanced labor, and there’s no room for her. So we’re going to do you solid and let you sleep with the animals. And that was many hundreds of years after the judge’s story. So how far do you go with that?

Well, only as far as you have to. Yes, sir. are some hot tips on blessing your guests once they’re there besides providing food and beverages and things. But like conversation, like, because obviously, you know, if you’ve done all the prep of repenting of your sin and, you know, goodness should flow. But how do you, because, and maybe I’m answering my own question, because yes, if that context is there, then you wouldn’t have this situation that I’m about to mention. But I was thinking, you could theoretically invite people over and it could just be a wellspring of gossip or just, you could talk about a lot of things and call it fellowship.

But how would you promote blessing through conversation and fellowship that ensues? I answer a really good question. Because it can, yeah, you can invite people over and be all about you. Yeah, you can to be showing off or trying to make a name for yourself with things we talked about. But when they’re there, applying the principle of honor is, it wasn’t looked like on the ground.

I think, I think practically it’s everything from like working to keep your glasses full to actually asking questions and listening. And sometimes as a host that’s actually kind of hard because you’re trying to make sure everything goes smoothly. But you know, we coach our kids, greet them, shake their hands, look them in the eye, ask them, you know, if you can get them something to drink. When they leave, shake their hands, look them in the eye, thank them for coming. And in the meantime, like, ask some questions and listen. And that actually has been really good for SACO, just getting to know some people well.

But the applications of that principle, I think, are infinite, and it’s the same, it is why you can practice hospitality standing out under the covered area on a Sunday morning, having a spirit of honor and welcoming in. You also can practice that badly, abuse it by being exclusive in a conversation and then not welcoming in others. So stay out versus come on in. And of course that takes wisdom. Sometimes where it’s not appropriate to have somebody into the conversation. But it’s not just. So I say that because all those same things that we would coach kids to do on the playground are the same sorts of things we would try and coach all of us to do around the dinner table or on a Sunday after service.

Yes, sir, Mr. Hickey. I’m glad you mentioned asking questions and listening. For me, one of the most important things I’ve learned in life is to take a sincere and genuine interest in someone. I think we’ve all experienced meeting someone and you ask them some questions, and 15 minutes later the visit is over and they never ask you one question. They was all talking. So I just think that’s crucial. So as a host, one of the most important things you can do is let them feel that it was important for them to be there. That’s a good word, right? Yeah, and for what’s worth, all those things we try and coach, the only ones come off perfectly.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Let’s say that your household is not one where the parents are trying to encourage hospitality. practicing hospitality, but you’re a kid who’s not really close to being able to leave to start your own hospitality, like your own household sort of hospitality. How do you, and I’m not saying this is my situation, or really anybody else is here, but like if you’re running into people like this, what do you tell a kid who’s interested in trying to provide hospitality, but you’re not really getting it through to your parent’s and you don’t really have a lot of resources to do it yourself, what would you tell that kind of kid to do on a daily basis to be able to still practice hospitality?

I think there’s, that’s a really good question. I didn’t anticipate that one at all. I think there is an opportunity there to honor your parents while also being an instrument for your parents’ growth. And so asking, and I’ll say you because I know this isn’t you, because I know your parents, but let’s say if it were you, you could ask them, hey, mom and dad, would it be okay if, no, we don’t do that, okay, with respect, do you mind if I ask why? Okay, what would you guys think of if I hosted something at the church and had this, and I would like to coordinate all the refreshments and blah, blah, blah. And then when that happens, you’re the host.

Now if they’re resistant to you taking that kind of initiative, then I think that also would be, that would be surprising. That would be really surprising. And I think even probably unlikely, but possible. Maybe because they’d be threatened by, you know, being shown up by their son or something like that. And if that’s the case, then there’s a bigger problem than one of being inhospitable. So I’ll just go back to the principle of honoring others is something that it’s not just hosting events and meals and things like that. It is having the porch light on, whether it’s Motel 6 or Dave Light’s house. I’ll keep the light on for you.

There you go. Yeah. I don’t know, anybody else have any suggestions in that context? Again, when we were down in Southern California, we had a similar, guess who’s coming to dinner. Oh yeah. And people knew, but we organized it so that we first started within your zip code and then we kept expanding it out. We had one family in our adult fellowship class that was living in their car at the time. And they were saying, I noticed they had not signed up, so I said, how come you haven’t signed up? She goes, well, we could never have this in our home.

our home and I said you could have it at a park, you could invite everybody to bring a picnic, and you could organize games, doesn’t cost you a cent. And your car’s already parked there and they did it. So I think we could be creative, you feel like somebody’s withholding because their house is too small or they don’t have enough money because they have this perceived, those people do it so well in quotes. So you can help be creative in thinking of ways that you can invite people to some sort of gathering and it doesn’t have to be in a home. And again you can be hospitable to one person. Hospitality can be one-on-one not one on 80. So it’s way cool that we’re a people that like big group stuff but it’s not just amount of money or resources, it’s also not about number of people per se to be showing honor, like you said, like hanging out and chatting after church or whatever, that doesn’t require all of the church to be there for it to count as hospitality, yeah.

Doug? Doug? I just have a small cornucopia of responses to some things. First to Calvin, what you were saying. A small cornucopia. I was single longer before I met Amy and got married. And during those years, there were times where I was living out on my own. Then I’d move home with Mom. She was a widow. So she was alone in the house. And my mom had lots of friends. why don’t you have some of your friends over? She never invited them, for whatever reason. But I didn’t stop inviting my friends over. And I would say, hey, mom, are you OK if, like, this Friday some of the guys come over? And she’s like, oh, I’ll cook for them, or whatever.

And we always had a bunch of singles over for Thanksgiving at my house. And my mom would gladly cooking for them. She wasn’t the invitee, but she would gladly serve. So that’s something you could do, like, not you, necessarily are struggling with this, but if you’re playing sports, hey you want to come to my house and eat burgers with us Friday, it can be like Shawn said one-on-one, just or just one person. And as far as like the safety thing and all that, I think that was being discussed. I really think we need to listen to the Holy Spirit and apply wisdom to who we invite in our house. It may Jesus hate what tax collectors and sinners and boy was he frowned upon, you know. So I I think in terms of who we invite and how it materializes, I think there is this sixth sense of, hey, the Holy Spirit is really leading me, or I have this prompting to like, hey, you want to come eat at our house?

As much as we can plan, I don’t think we should discount the leading of the Spirit providentially to work in hospitality. final cornucopia thing even as far as conversation Ian. I know we will plan ahead and say, okay, what do we want to talk about tonight? We can ask testimonies, how did people meet? We have some cards we can like dive into and pass around and talk about. So you can plan conversation as much as you can plan what you’re going to eat as well. So my thought. Yeah, it’s a good word. Thank you. All right, it’s getting pretty late. Should we try and Wrap it up. Yeah, the Holy Spirit of talent. Listen to Doug and listen to the Holy Spirit.

Yes, should we go? Oh yeah. I’m sure I’ve noticed. And you invite people over and you think, okay, I’ve studied up on them, I know he’s interested in this, and you try to do that. It never works. God has a way of just directing the path, and when they realize you can be comfortable and go, well, I have no idea what you’re talking about. just talk to me and you know that kind of thing. And like Cal invited the whole baseball team over for dinner right? That was it. I knew I wasn’t gonna have anything to talk to these kids about. I got no idea. So in that respect instead of trying to inject myself and be hospitable and all that, I go out smile at them all you know say hi and then fade off into the distance because is they’re doing their thing.

And that’s another thing. You don’t wanna insert yourself where you’re really not welcome. And it’s a real, it’s one of those things in church talk is everybody’s talking around the room. If people are really involved with each other, don’t feel that they don’t like you because they’re talking and you know the guy and he’s talking to somebody else. sit off to the side and wait till they’re done engaging. And it, I don’t know, all of that, it’s very, you need to be in tune with what’s going on and don’t feel hurt because we worship a sovereign God that’s arranging all of those people in the room to talk to each other.