Worse than a cook who lost his taste is a boss who lost his checkbook. In some situations it could be funny, but only for a while, and probably not if it’s your boss. Laban is the worst. He’s manipulated, lied, deceived, grasped, criticized, accused, and generally been as unpleasant as a migraine. And he thought he was being put-upon.

Jacob went to work for Laban for around seven-thousand three-hundred Mondays and, as he’ll affirm before the chapter ends, “If God…had not been on my side, surely you would have” swallowed me up alive (see Psalm 124:3), or at least “you would have sent me away empty-handed.” That’s not only a reference to the flocks he earned but also to the family he obtained. Jacob sacrificed and suffered and Laban kept taking advantage of his nephew/son-in-law at every turn.

When Jacob heard that his brothers-in-law were bitter about his abundance, when Jacob saw that favor had fallen off of Laban’s face, and when Jacob received word from the LORD that it was time to go, he got up and went. He persuaded his wives to follow, which may have had as much to do with disgruntlement towards their dad as anything. So all Jacob had acquired in Paddan-aram was loaded and left for Canaan.

They did not say good-bye. Laban and his men were shearing the sheep, and he didn’t even hear that Jacob stole away for three days. When he did get the news, he gathered his kinsmen and took off after Jacob in hot pursuit, overtaking him seven days later. He had a lot of time to work on his speech, except that God appeared to Laban one night and told him, in so many words, to leave it alone.

That didn’t stop Laban from launching verbal threats, though he couldn’t quite decide if he wanted to be mad or offended, whether he should rescue or destroy, whether he should ask questions or just criticize. He accuses Jacob of kidnapping his daughters and god-napping his household idols. He informs Jacob that Jacob is foolish and that Jacob is lucky that Laban won’t harm him.

Laban’s one legit grievance was that his figurines were gone. Jacob didn’t know it, but Rachel had stolen them. We don’t know why she took them, but she’s in danger because Jacob pronounces the death penalty on anyone who has them. But Laban can’t find them. Laban “jacobed” Jacob. Jacob “jacobed” Laban. Rachel “jacobed” her dad. And here we are.

In Genesis 31:1-35 we saw three paragraphs with Jacob as the primary actor, then three with Laban. Now there is one paragraph of Jacob’s angry complaint (verses 36-42) and three more with Laban’s last words (verses 43-55).

Jacob Bursts Out (verses 36-42)

The occasion is specific but the anger is historic. Out of the abundance of the hardship the mouth speaks. There has been a lot of hardship, and Laban’s pretensions light the match of Jacob’s fire.

Then Jacob became angry and berated Laban. Here is old whine in new whineskins; Jacob was hot. ”What is my offense? What is my sin, that you have hotly pursued me? For you have felt through all my goods; what have you found of all your household gods? Set it here before my kinsmen and your kinsmen, that they may decide between us two.” Jacob “contended with” (NASB, perhaps more accurate that berated) Laban about his innocence before the family jury. Where is the proof of any illegal or immoral acts? He talks as if his guiltlessness is beyond dispute, even though we know that his guilt is just not visible. Rachel is sitting on the evidence in a back room.

Jacob, though, is just getting started. Laban has no case regarding the idols, and Laban has no case regarding the labor. Two decades’ worth of pent up complaints burst out about his work as a pastor.

“These twenty years I have been with you. Your ewes and your female goats have not miscarried, and I have not eaten the rams of your flocks. What was torn by wild beasts I did not bring to you. I bore the loss of it myself. From my hand you required it, whether stolen by day or stolen by night. There I was: by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes. These twenty years I have been in your house. I served you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flock, and you have changed my wages ten times. If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been on my side, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed. God saw my affliction and the labor of my hands and rebuked you last night.” (Genesis 31:38–42)

Verse 38 is about Jacob’s integrity. While lambing is a season, a shepherd must know his sheep, in particular the pregnant sheep, and check on them multiple times each day in order to make sure that there aren’t any birthing complications. Jacob claimed that in some 40 lambing seasons he hasn’t let one of maybe thousands die from miscarriage. He also has not eaten any of his work.

Verse 39 is about his financial burden. He bore the loss himself rather than let his employer take the hit. This arrangement, however, does not seem to be the typical contract. A shepherd was not usually expected to cover the cost if a wild beast attacked, especially at night. But Jacob said to Laban, from my hand you required it. Jacob paid for all the damages out of his own pocket.

Verse 40 is about the physical burden. Jacob had temperature regulation issues. This is cumulative, but common enough. The desert will devour ( consumed is the word for “eat”) a man with heat and make a man numb with cold (the word for “ice” or “frost” in Hebrew). Jacob was exhausted: my sleep fled from my eyes. He couldn’t catch a wink. In his case, counting sheep kept him awake.

He repeats the length of this trial again: twenty years, and in verse 41 describes the burden of social injustice. Two daughters wasn’t the original deal, and ten times changing the wages for what flocks he could keep must have been almost every paycheck; every time Laban checked Jacob’s pay.

Verse 42 is Jacob’s closing argument. How Jacob came away with anything? Only God knows. Jacob calls God the Fear of Isaac, a unique name, used only here and again in verse 53, that characterizes the response that God’s presence evokes: dread. God is a consuming fire. It’s a fearful thing to fall into the hand of the living God. And also the living God sees and takes care of His own.

Isn’t this our hope? That God sees how hard we work even when others don’t (or won’t), and that God sees how hard we’re treated? Nothing is hidden from God (see also verse 49), and He claims “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.”

Jacob interprets the dream Laban had as a rebuke to Laban and a vindication of his right. Did it feel good to get all that bile out?

Laban Backs Down (verses 43-55)

Laban is more mouth than muscle, like clouds and wind without rain, but he certainly isn’t done trying to be the boss of the situation that he can’t control.

His Answer (verses 43-50)

Jacob may have been righteously angry. Even if it wasn’t righteous, it was understandable. We may have counseled him to seek help before exploding. That said, everything he said is true. Laban is the worst. Jacob deceived his dad, Jacob did not do everything right by his wives, but between Jacob and Laban, Laban was actually 100% of the problem. What could Laban disagree with?

It turns out that when you’re committed to playing the victim, no evidence will convince to the contrary. Laban answered and said to Jacob, “I’m so sorry. Now I see what you’re saying. Thank you for all you’ve done. I’ve been a fool. Please forgive me. Now go and be happy in Canaan with my blessing.” Ha!

”The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children, the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine.” That’s how he interprets the situation; everything is “mine, mine, mine.” He is the victim in his version. However he can’t really do anything about it; he’s a helpless victim. ”But what can I do this day for these my daughters or for their children whom they have borne?” It’s all his money in that bank account, but someone stole his ATM card so he can’t use it. Alas. Laban won’t even acknowledge Jacob as the father. This is pathetic. Laban can’t complain enough.

Then he has the audacity to propose another contract! ”Come now, let us make a covenant, you and I. And let it be a witness between you and me.” I don’t know who shows more nerve, Laban in making the proposal or Jacob in not smacking Laban. If anyone needed to call on a witness, it would not be Laban. This is “justice theater.”

But Jacob takes it as a (reluctant) recognition from Laban regarding his social status and sets up a pillar himself and has some of his men gather stones to make a heap, a “pile,” used eight times in seven verses. Laban called it Jegar-sahadutha, but Jacob called it Galeed. Both names mean “heap of witness” but Laban speaks Aramaic and Jacob speaks Hebrew. Laban went further and described it as Mizpah, a watchpost. Then listen to his terms:

“The LORD watch between you and me, when we are out of one another’s sight. If you oppress my daughters, or if you take wives besides my daughters, although no one is with us, see, God is witness between you and me.” (Genesis 31:49–50)

Laban uses Jacob’s God’s name here, Yahweh. This isn’t a kind blessing, this is a warning or even a curse. As for taking other wives, Laban is responsible for Jacob having more than one wife in the first place.

Again we have to wonder what was going through Jacob’s mind. “Are you serious?”

His Alarm (verses 51-54)

Laban isn’t done accusing, or pre-accusing, Jacob of wrong that he himself threatened not that many minutes ago.

Laban said to Jacob, “See this heap and the pillar, which I have set between you and me” (which he didn’t do at all). ”This heap is a witness, and the pillar is a witness, that I will not pass over this heap to you, and you will not pass over this heap and this pillar to me, to do harm.” Here is “security theater” at its finest.

Laban is the one who chased Jacob down for seven days and threatened harm. Jacob hasn’t threatened Laban in any way; he tried to sneak away. Jacob was deceitful but not dangerous. Laban takes this parting shot anyway and calls on a divine sentry to be on the lookout.

Laban swears by the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, whatever gods (plural, since judge between us is a plural form) he thinks might do some good. Jacob swore by the Fear of his father Isaac. Jacob worshipped, in thanks that it seemed as if it was finally going to be over, with a sacrifice and a meal.

His Departure (verse 55)

No mention is made of a hug or blessing for Jacob. But Laban does give kisses and well-wishes to his daughters and grand-children. How much coaxing did it take for the moms to coach their kids to just stay good-bye quickly and not give Laban any more reasons to argue or stay longer.

Then Laban departed and returned home. This is the last time we hear anything about Laban in Genesis.

Conclusion

There is a deep current of God’s steadfast love even if that word is not used in this chapter. Jacob could have sung Psalm 79 if he had known it. Jacob was a shepherd, but he was also a sheep under the shepherding care of the LORD. He had many reasons to give thanks. The LORD heard Jacob’s groans. The LORD protected him from one who taunted him, tricked him, and twisted the truth. According to the LORD’s great power, He preserved him.

After twenty years Jacob is finally free to return to Canaan. The LORD promised to be with Jacob and to bring Jacob back to the land (Genesis 28:14), and it’s about to be realized. Of course his problems aren’t over. He got away from one relative who was always trying to control him, but he’s headed to meet another relative who may still want to kill him.

For what it’s worth, I tend to think that Jacob shows more wisdom than weakness in refusing to retaliate or argue more than he does. He said his piece, and Laban didn’t budge, let alone repent. If anything, Laban’s responses were more ridiculous than ever, and Jacob ignores Laban’s offensive lies.

But here’s the thing, we don’t always answer a fool according to his folly (Proverbs 26:4). Even as some of you head into a season of family meals, not every stupid/blind/selfish/critical comment requires correction. Sometimes the best way to demonstrate how wrong someone is, is to let them keep talking.

Then get your wife and kids and go home.