As has been said, nothing goes without saying.

Where no oxen are, the crib is clean:
but much increase is by the strength of the ox.
(Proverbs 14:4 KJV)

I am for digital oxen, and, kids who aren’t afraid of and know how to drive digital oxen. But I am against letting crap pile up in the barn.

I like electricity, and books. I am not a doomer about more advanced tech (or a Boomer), including about AI. I am against doomscrolling.

Here are the headings we’re about to consider: Good Vibes, Real Dangers, Basic Principles, Best Practices, Recommended Tools, Periodic Questions.

Good Vibes

Technology is amazing, and life-saving, and a multiplier of imagination for good. It also magnifies all sorts of temptations and breeds all sorts of lusts and sins. We are raising kids who will raise kids, so we want to raise them to:

• Give thanks. All are yours (1 Corinthians 3:21). If it can be sanctified by the Word of God and prayer, receive it with thanksgiving (extended application 1 Timothy 4:4-5). We are blessed, and desire more blessing.
• Show respect, not fear. These are tools that can do amazing things, for good and bad. They can do significant harm, to yourself and others. An ox could plow a field, or gore a neighbor. You can chop a tree down with an axe, or the axehead could slip and strike a neighbor in the head. The new power tool is AI, and I keep benefiting from it more and more, have learned some things about some of my communication weaknesses by using it, and can see how it will really ruin those desperate to make it their best friend.
• Develop self-control. Stated the other way, avoid dependence, or more specifically, abuse and/or addiction. “For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved” (2 Peter 2:19). There should be no, “My precious.” Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, and a virtue to be developed. Be the master, not the slave.
• Pursue fruitfulness. As with food and money, consumption should not be the end. Creation and production and multiplying seed-sowing efforts is a taking-dominion part of our image-bearing. Let your mina make ten minas (Luke 19:13ff).

Real Dangers

It’s been said that you can’t outrun your diet, so also you can’t out-quiet-time your timeline. As bad company corrupts good morals, so bad Instagram/TikTok/Twitter corrupts our commitment to live on unseen things (2 Corinthians 4:18). You used to have to go to 7-11 for your kid to see the kind of trash available in your pocket.

A lot of the following list applies to messaging services (texting, WhatsApp, SnapChat, etc), to social media, some to games, and with broad connection to every advertisement that hits us. Watch out for tech that brings and promotes:

• Isolation. (Proverbs 18:1)
• Laziness. (Proverbs 6:6-11; 26:16)
• Oversharing/venting. (Proverbs 10:19; 13:3, 16; 29:11)
• Belittling others. (Proverbs 11:12-13)
• Strife stirring. (Proverbs 15:18; 26:17)
• Self-boasting. (Proverbs 27:2)
• Strange women. (Proverbs 5:8; 7:10-12)
• Poisoned input. (Proverbs 4:23; 14:7; 17:4)
• Scoffing. (Psalm 1:1)

Basic Principles

• Parents (should) know best, they certainly are responsible (to God), and should use their authority to give good things (to the whole household, and then the community and next generation). So learn. Do the work first. Authority flows to those who gladly take responsibility.
• Privacy is relative, in-house, and of course online. So interfere. Work toward the day when you won’t be there watching over their shoulder, but be there for now. You should know their passwords. See Practices for implementation ideas. “A man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and He ponders all his paths” (Proverbs 5:21).
• Rules should be as simple as possible, clear and consistent, and will need to be updated. One size does not fit all, individual ages or aptitudes, let alone apps or advances in tech.
• Trust, test, encourage trustworthiness. Follow through on rules, forgive when asked, try again. Ask questions; be wise as serpents and playful as panda bears.

Best Practices

• Off-line first, finish other work before play. Decide on the right amount of screen minutes per day, and consider more as reward to earn. Hard copies are great (though it is possible to get lost in a book in unhelpful ways as well).
• No devices in bedrooms without explicit permission. Charge in another place overnight. For that matter, generally not at the dinner table.
• A family computer in a visible spot is great (though prepare for some extra work to deal with permissions and passwords). Get a family phone that kids can take for the day, or trip, before getting them their own device.
• Know enough to know what is in the games they want to play, the movies they want to watch, the music they want to listen to.
• Look at things together. Ideally at least one parent thinks it’s more fun, and is more accessible, and easy to talk to about it without a bunch of anxiety and pressure. Sitting down with them and showing them how to process videos and pics and posts before giving them their own account.
• Apple devices are most familiar to me, and seem to have great Parent/Child options (even more in iOS 27); screen time, app decisions and limits, location. iPads work for school projects, and while a little more costly than a Chromebook, do a lot more. Use a shared Password manager app.
• Consider your household threshold for giving a personal phone. We landed on 16, time for driver’s license is time for a personal phone, still with limits. That also means we know what to get for their 16th birthday, so winning.
• Check their screen time. These days you can set it up to do it from your own device. Check their search history. Read through their recent messages.

Recommended Tools

Apple devices with Child accounts. Content and purchase restrictions, contacts/messaging approval. Communication Safety, built-in to iOS 27, is also expanding beyond nudity detection. The feature can now block detected gore or violent content in shared images and videos, while displaying a warning.

FindMy (Life360). What a blessing, and don’t let it become a burden of anxiety, or a new livestream for you to waste your time.

A “dumb” phone. Light Phone.

Common Sense Media, reviews and age guidance for apps, games, movies. IMDB Parent’s Guide. VidAngel filtering service, as well as ClearPlay. Put a password on your TV.

Canopy (canopy.us) claims that it is the only app that filters explicit content on any website or AI chatbot, without blocking the internet. Real-Time Filtering & Porn Blocking. Though, who knows what exactly it’s protected you from because if it’s working, you wouldn’t know.

Periodic Questions

• Is your kids’ tech use/screen time educational, restful, or some other type of purposeful? Or is it isolating them, discouraging them, making them more anxious? Are they moving toward technology that promotes laziness or industry?
• Do your kids know who they are, and do they bring their identity to their online interactions, or are they getting identity from other communities?
• Hedging for different types of kids, are your kids relieved when they can talk to you, or are they relieved to get away from the conversation?

Conclusion

We want the Lord’s blessing, we are working to drawe one waye regarding raising our kids, and that includes tech/device expectations. We do not see a bunch of kids on their phones after church, or at school, and that is a blessing.

This tech for our kids is still largely a privilege, not a right. Take it away, bear the inconvenience.

All of it requires attention (Proverbs 27:23) and wisdom through the fear of the Lord.