Or, TEC - The Teen Years (Pt 3)
Scripture: Selected Scriptures
Date: November 30, 2025
Speaker: Sean Higgins
When you look at any given group, how can you identify the adults? It’s not just the tall ones, it’s the ones taking care of things. In a dysfunctional family a kid might be the functional adult.
We can describe the characteristics of an adult in other ways. The adult senses ownership. The adult takes responsibility. The adult sees what needs to be done and then acts do something about it. The adult makes the sacrifices. The adult dies to bring life to others.
In part 2 of TEC as a Teen we saw that much fruit comes from abiding in Jesus (John 15:5). This would include depending on Him, and letting Jesus’ strength and joy enable and motivate us. But abiding in Jesus would also include imitating Jesus, and make a couple connections with me. After exhorting them to abide in Him, He says that they should love others like He loved them. Then He said that there’s no greater love than laying down your life for others (John 15:13).
And a few chapters before, in what has to be one of the most underrated interactions in the Gospels, Jesus said that the hour for Him to be glorified had come (John 12:23). As He continued talking it’s clear that He meant that it was time to die (John 12:32). In between He illustrated, a grain of wheat must die if it will bear much fruit (12:24).
“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. (John 12:23–24 ESV)
Paul picked up on this in 2 Corinthians 4. His ministry was carrying around the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus would be manifested (2 Corinthians 4:10-11). Summarized: So death is at work in us, but life in you (2 Corinthians 4:12).
Christian adulting is sacrificing. Ministering (as pastors equip the saints to do for sake of building up the body) is dying. Fruit comes from giving yourself for the good of others.
As a church we are growing up in maturity. We are at a critical stage of development, with some parallels to a fifteen year old, learning to see and then to act. It’s more than reacting, it’s see-acting. It’s not being a spectator, but a spectactor. Mature men don’t need their hand held to cross the street. Mature men don’t need to be told that the garbage is full. Mature men build the house and pay the bills. Mature men know when to gather the bullets and when to enter the battle.
Maturity is fruitfulness. Much fruit comes as we abide in the vine, much fruit comes as the man-seed dies.
How then should we die? Without specific application we’re just dying in our heads, and that is not the same. A lot of the thumb’s-width living for Christian maturity and community is as simple as, and as easy as, dying. That’s it. You just have to hate your life in this world (in one way) to keep it for eternal life (John 12:25).
When we look for specific application, we do need basic application. People who want to lose weight should eat less and move more. After a while, if they are truly doing it and still not moving the needle, then they can seek more refined approaches. Most do not do, or not for long, the basics.
Paul prayed for the Colossians:
we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him (Colossians 1:9–10 ESV)
And in the last chapter he mentions the prayer of the guy who probably started the church in Colossae:
[Epaphras is] always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God. (Colossians 4:12 ESV)
If we want the thick roots of Christian community, with maturing, Christ-like, loving-others-by-dying adults, we’ve got to keep majoring on the following five parts of God’s will.
Maybe this seems like a Duh Principle for Christians, but this is the reason Paul wrote “to the saints and faithful brothers in Christ in Colossae.” In the church they were being taught, or tricked, that Jesus was not quite as great or as sufficient. The critical part of the letter explains that Jesus is God’s beloved Son who created and rules and redeems “that in everything He might be preeminent” (Colossians 1:18)).
See Colossians 1:15-23.
No compartments, no hidden closets, no neutral places. The most basic death is to yourself, to your centrality as the main character and to your comfort. Your delight must be in the Lord. You must keep learning and expanding and reordering until your cares match His cares.
It would not be bad to read In His Steps by Charles Sheldon. Really: what would Jesus do? Are you tracing over the example He called you to (1 Peter 2:21), or making your own path?
God invented flesh, from skeleton out to skin. He gave it to Adam. His own Son took it up. For that matter, God invented matter, dirt, earth. But when Adam sinned, something happened to him and to all his sons, and we can’t fix fleshly sins by fleshly means.
There is always the temptation for men to fix sin problems with rules. What is in our heart always comes out, but we can’t get to the heart only by what’s out. We must die to appearances of wisdom that don’t have the power of godliness.
See Colossians 2:20-23 and 3:1-4.
We must learn that our values are transcendent; we seek the things that are above. That does not mean we don’t belong on earth, but that we can’t define what’s good here only by what we see, touch, or taste.
We must, every day, kill (by grace) lusts of all kinds. We must mortify desires to have what does not belong to us, whether that’s some other woman or wealth we don’t have to work for. Living as consumed with wanting what’s across the fence is the way of the world. This is the brand of clothes they wear.
Especially, don’t lie. We can’t build up the body speaking lies in love. There’s no such thing.
See Colossians 3:5-11 and 12-17.
And then, we pick up and put on kindness and patience and forgiveness and love and peace and thankfulness. We don’t just enjoy harmony on occasion when everyone hits their note, we keep on putting on the Christlike clothes to the benefit of the “one body” we were called to.
A church is made up of many members, and those members have another group they belong to already, the family. This is where we die first, the ones for whom we die first, the ones we are most tempted to be selfish toward. Will wives die to their belief that they know best? Will husbands die to their avoidance? Will children die to their forgetfulness? Will dads die to their irritation?
See Colossians 3:18-4:1.
And then we really must work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. Paul addresses slaves and masters, but there’s application to any vocation. Have a job? Work it in Jesus’ name! Those who are called to employ others must be fair, and consider how the Master in heaven seeks the good of His servants.
See Colossians 4:2-6.
“Our prayer remains the deepest expression of all religious life” (Kuyper, Lectures). If we are not praying, we are leaning on our own understanding. The ESV has, Continue steadfastly in prayer (4:2). Is this how we are known, or are we better at being all caught up with the latest news?
And whether or not we get things done, we must be redeeming the time, making the best use of the time (4:6). We don’t waste the days we’re given, and we look for how to best flavor our conversations with grace and salt.
A community is a group of image-bearers who have responsibilities to each other. The Latin roots of the word community include the prefix com- (meaning “together” or “with”) and -munis (related to duties or obligations). So etymologically, community conveys the idea of people united not only by shared attributes but also by shared duties. We are tied together by responsibilities. In a community, people know their people, and so they know who they die for first.
One great challenge of our day is rootlessness. It’s a vivid image, and maybe not far off from chaff that the wind drives away (Psalm 1:4). There is little to no expectation of intergenerational relationships outside of holidays, and a squandering of compounding cultural fruit, including assets such as education and finances and even worship. There are hardly any shared projects; we might all still be speaking the same language if the Babel Tower committee just wanted to build for the name of the Lord instead of for themselves. When you do something genuinely good/profitable for you, it will be genuinely good/beneficial for your neighbor. This is Christian economics.
Many of us get to decide the destination for our roots. Our family has had a few major decision times about where to plant ourselves, but there’s a daily sense as well. You are our people. You are the people we want to be rooted with. You are the ones we love, and so the ones we joyfully die for. You are the ones we want to be actually buried by when it’s time. This is our place. We can make it more lovely together as we sacrifice. We make a destination for other friends and family who have had enough of feeling rootless.
Romans 12:11 says, “outdo one another in showing honor.” That requires love and sacrifice. Outdo one another in dying.
This is the way of a mature flock. This is the only way to a healthy body and a full harvest of fruitfulness. This is the way of readiness to reproduce. This is the way unto deep roots. This is fruit to die for.
Be filled with the knowledge of God’s will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him. Look for ways to die for your people, and pray that the Lord would bless your deaths for sake of their life.
Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. (1 Peter 2:11–12 ESV)