Can you imagine what our court system would do if everyone just did what they said they would? I have no idea what percentage of civil lawsuits consists of broken contracts, but I do have an idea why so many of those lawsuits exist. Human nature being what it is, we like the benefits that come from ambiguity. We are smart people. We know how to protect ourselves, how to make it hard for anyone to pin us down. We love loopholes and lawyers, as long as they’re on our side.

Employers and employees break agreements, contractors break contracts, spouses break vows. We break promises we make to ourselves. We can’t even be counted on ourselves to commit to our own commitments to ourselves. How slippery is a man who will break his word to himself?

A wise man doesn’t avoid making any promises for fear that he’ll blow it. The wise are wise enough to know that they need outside help not to blow it. They know that they aren’t exceptional, they know they are prone to make exceptions. So they get clearer, they take it public, they ask for help before they need it. When did Noah build the ark? Before it started to rain. We do well to make preparations for our own sin floods, to plan for being weak when we’re strong.

We’re talking about church membership. Two weeks ago we started addressing the privileges of membership. The first two privileges were: 1) specialized care from qualified and accountable men and 2) full body life, embracing that others need us, we need others, and our differences make it more delightful. No man is a body. This morning we’ll come to three more reasons that membership is AWESOME.

For what it’s worth, we are taking a little time (today is the third message with probably two more to come) on the issue of membership not because we’re concerned that people will hate it or even that they would walk away because of it. We’re taking time because we’re concerned that people are indifferent about it. It isn’t the goal to force anyone to do it. It isn’t the goal to keep anyone from hating it. Those are much too easy.

We’re after those who say, “I’m not really for it, but if that’s what the elders want then I’ll do it.” That isn’t the elders’ job. That’s not equipping you, that’s herding you. We want you to LOVE it. We want you to tell your kids why it’s great, to show your kids why it’s great, to help them delight in the local church. This isn’t shotgun membership. We want you to run like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber on his wedding day.

Helping the members know their responsibilities and privileges is one thing. Helping them to know and love their responsibilities and privileges is impossible, and indispensable if each part is going to do its part to build up the entire body in love.

3. Forgiveness Rehearsal

We are not merely a team with skilled position players. We are not a corporation hiring to fill a variety of jobs. We are a body, a living and supernaturally connected people. How did we get connected? Through one Person, Jesus. And how did we get connected with Him? We are brought into the body by Christ’s reconciling work, through His forgiveness. He got His Bride by laying down His life for her (Ephesians 5:25). So we are a gospel body, created by and for forgiving sacrifice. This is a privilege in two ways.

First, practicing forgiveness increases our witness. The gospel is not only a message we tell about how God forgives sinners, the gospel is a way of life that illustrates forgiveness. Why do we proclaim Christ to the world? Why are we excited to tell others about Him? Jesus forgives rebellious, guilty enemies! But are we claiming to love Christ who forgives enemies and yet failing to obey Christ by refusing to forgive those who sin against us?

When others sin against us (hurt us) we talk and act like we must be in the wrong place. I get that. But do we want to be like Jesus? If yes, then when we are hurt by someone else, we are in the exact right place. If we don’t have need to forgive someone else, if we are never hurt by someone else, then we will have a small platform to say that forgiveness is awesome. By forgiving others’ sin against us we say something about Christ’s forgiveness of us.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (Colossians 3:12-14, ESV)

He sticks us together so we’ll see how valuable forgiveness really is. He wants us to be examples of forgiveness, not simply talkers about it.

Church membership provides a context of commitment to forgive others rather than to walk away when they hurt us. Though not exactly the same, a married couple approaches conflict differently because of their vows. They commit to work out problems together, not to work together until there are problems. Thankfully, Christ doesn’t renege on His forgiving commitment.

Second, practicing forgiveness intensifies our worship. How could someone sinning against us make worship better? Don’t problems in the church dampen our worship? They could, but they don’t have to. When we need to forgive we’re reminded how much we’ve been forgiven. Think of the parable of the king wishing to settle accounts in Matthew 18:21-35. The point of the parable is that we are a kingdom community of forgiven forgivers. We forgive lesser offenses (against us) because we’ve been forgiven infinite offenses (against God). Every time we walk a mile in His sandals, forgiving others, our gratitude and adoration for Him intensifies.

There is nothing supernatural, there is nothing gospel, there is nothing Jesus-like in loving those who love us. God created the world in the way He did to show off greater glory by loving enemies and forgiving rebels. He calls us to the same life. If you don’t want that privilege, then you don’t want His forgiveness of your rebellion either.

Forgiveness rehearsal is an agonizing privilege for our corporate witness and worship. We want to get away when it’s hard, when others injure us (buy a one way ticket on Southwest). Of course we do. No one is overjoyed looking ahead to that four hour conversation to work things out when you’re already busy and behind. But as long as we are not in heaven, there is no way to make it so that we will never need to forgive someone who sinned against us. Members are committed to pursuing better joy and deeper intimacy with each other through forgiveness in Christ. If we do not forgive, we show we are not truly forgiven and are not part of the body (see Matthew 6:14-15).

4. Faithful Wounding

Wise men know this,

Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
(Proverbs 27:6, ESV)

It seems that a lot of Christians are happier at churches full of kissing. We want everybody blowing kisses and waving wands of flattery in our direction. Wise men know that true friends wound. Wise men also know that they are prone to need “wounds” from time to time, so they commit themselves to friends. In a similar, but even more specific way,

let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:24-25, ESV)

We “stir up,” “stimulate” (NAS), “provoke” (KJV, NRSV), “spur on” (NIV). We rouse others to activity and, more than that, we brainstorm (“consider”) how to do it better. If someone wakes up and his foot is asleep, he doesn’t slander his foot and cut it off. “It’s obvious this is the wrong foot for me. I’ll go find another foot.” He slaps and stretches and shakes and wiggles his foot to get it moving. Think about it like physical therapy. Repeatedly knead and rotate and stretch a repaired elbow. The treatment itself isn’t necessarily enjoyable. It often hurts. It is good for the health of the part. It is also necessary for the health of the body.

Some parts regularly need more attention, they keep getting into trouble. The navel may wonder why it’s always being picked on. The gathered lint reflects on the stomach. A finger that won’t stop bleeding may need to be cauterized so it won’t make a mess everywhere.

Again, we are predisposed to run from help if we think it will hurt. But,

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. (Proverbs 12:1, ESV)

In The Pilgrim’s Progress, Ignorance preferred to be alone. “I take my pleasure in walking alone, even more a great deal than in company unless I like it the better.” Of course he would. Isolation enabled him to enjoy his ignorance in (what he thought was) peace. (Penguin Classics edition, 146)

It “helped” Talkative to go abroad, that is, to keep moving, because then no one knew him to pin him down. He was a “Saint abroad, a Devil at home.” (82) Talkative didn’t much appreciate the personal pressing upon. He wanted none of the accountability. But the accountability was for his own good. Especially as we remember “the Day is drawing near” (Hebrews 10:25), this work is even more important.

What about when your friend goes too far? Even if a rebuke/wound isn’t right you can still rehearse forgiveness. “I thought you were my friend.” “I am your friend even though I was wrong. Please forgive me.” If your friend is right, you will love him for it later.

Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;
reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
(Proverbs 9:8, ESV)

5. Soul Protection

The fifth privilege is connected with the first (specialized care) and with the fourth (faithful wounds). “Soul protection” could also go by the name Church Discipline. I understand that discipline, as with wounding, hurts. “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but it later yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). God disciplines those He loves (see Hebrews 12:7-8; Revelation 3:19), so do parents (see Proverbs 13:24), and so must the church.

Because we are not glorified, because sin remains, and because sin makes us stupid, sometimes we need outside help. Sometimes we need protection from ourselves. Leaders are assigned to watch over souls (Hebrews 13:17) and they must help their churches to protect the purity of the body (1 Corinthians 5:6-8) and seek the salvation of disobedient souls (1 Corinthians 5:5) in order that their spirit, the eternal part of them, would be safe for eternity.

Matthew 18:15-20 is clear and crucial (along with 1 Corinthians 5:1-13, especially verses 2, 12-13).

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17)

What a privilege to be connected with those who love us so much and desire unity and intimacy so much that they will not sit idly by, letting us have some lesser joy and watching us destroy our souls. Membership is a privileged commitment to the joy of others so much that we will endure hard things, even their protests and insults and running away, for their sake.

Membership is a way of saying you want to be protected in case you get to a point when you say you don’t want to be protected.

Conclusion

When we say, “We want you to love it,” it seems an odd response to say, “We don’t want to be forced.” These messages and conversations are not intended to shove membership down anyone throat. They aim to put a steaming hot plate of sizzling fajitas down in front of you. We hope you take notice. We hope it looks good. We hope you realize the benefits for you in membership, the privileges of being openly and obviously committed to a local body.

As good as it is, we don’t glory in church life because everything is clean. We glory in messy church life because of the cross.

Rosaria Butterfield recently wrote about the value of church membership for fighting sin. From her article, “You Are What and How You Read”:

Why does sin lurk in the minds of believers as a law, demanding to be obeyed? How do we have victory if sin’s tentacles go so deep, if Satan knows our names and addresses? We stand on the ordinary means of grace: Scripture reading, prayer, worship, and the sacraments. We embrace the covenant of church membership for real accountability and community, knowing that left to our own devices we’ll either be led astray or become a danger to those we love most.

We commit to knowing that we may need help with our commitment. We join in clarity because we know that we are prone to evade in ambiguity. We sign up because we’ve been forgiven and forgiveness forges us together.