Or, Jacob and Esau’s Short Reunion
Scripture: Genesis 33:1-20
Date: December 4, 2016
Speaker: Sean Higgins
Jacob and Esau are about to meet for the first time in around 21 years. They have not been keeping tabs on each other; they’ve exchanged no correspondence. We know some about what happened in Jacob’s life during that time but nothing about what Esau’s been doing.
The last Esau knew, Jacob was a conniving deceiver who grasped for what wasn’t his, namely Esau’s birthright and blessing, and ran away to a distant relative because mommy and daddy said they didn’t want him to marry a Canaanite woman like his brother. Esau has had two decades to marinate in that bitter sauce. The last Jacob knew, Esau wanted to kill him, even though he planned to wait until their dad was dead. Jacob had two decades to marinate in that fearful suspense.
The LORD told Jacob to go home, though. He’d been working for his mother’s brother, Laban, for all this time. Laban was a worse cheat than Jacob. Laban kept cheating the cheater, and so Jacob was eager to be out from under his uncle / father-in-law / boss. But having escaped one mess, Jacob is heading into a potential disaster.
In Genesis 32 Jacob sent messengers ahead to make contact with his brother. What he heard back, that Esau was on his way to meet Jacob, with a small army of men, made Jacob “greatly afraid and distressed” (verse 7). Yeah. So he prayed to the LORD based on the LORD’s promises. Then he sent waves of presents to Esau in hopes to “appease” him, in hopes that Esau “will accept” him (verse 20). We’re about to see.
Before we see what happens, a “man” wrestled Jacob for most of the night. This man broke Jacob’s hip, then changed Jacob’s name to Israel, then he left. Jacob realized that this man was God in flesh.
Jacob hasn’t slept, he’s wrestled all night, and he can’t walk right; he’s limping. He doesn’t have energy or strength. And now, in that condition, he meets his brother and his brother’s army. He can’t run, he can’t fight, he needs to find favor in his brother’s sight or he’s dead.
The two camps, Jacob and Esau’s, are within sight of each other. Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. He can see for himself, and none of the men from Esau’s camp have peeled off for other destinations.
So [Jacob] divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two female servants. He starts to make smaller groups, then he put those groups in order by importance to him. He put the servants with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. Everyone knew where they stood. If this was for safety by distance from harm, or even if it was for ceremonial purposes, save the best for last. We’ve known Jacob’s preferences for a while, but they’ve not changed.
What’s changed is in verse 3. He himself went on before them. Jacob goes first, he’s out in front rather than behind. He becomes the barrier instead of hiding behind one. This is the man’s way. As Joe Rigney puts it based on King Lune in The Horse and His Boy, a real man is: first in, last out, laughing loudest. Jacob shows courage and humility, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came to his brother. He defers. He submits. He hopes for favor.
Isaac had prophesied about which brother would bow to the other in Genesis 27:29, a prophesy he meant for Esau but went to Jacob. For the time being, Jacob bows before Esau.
No talk, just a flurry of action. But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him. These are four verbs of grace-giving. Four verbs of fear-releasing. Four verbs of big brother, sloppy, man joy. Jacob wasn’t weirded out, he got the message that he was received. Esau embraced him, the Hebrew word ḥāḇaq compared to ʾāḇaq, “wrestled” in 32:25. So they wept.
Then the family started to appear and Esau asked, ”Who are these with you?” Jacob replied, ”The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” Note that Jacob said nothing about his wives which was the cover for his leaving so long ago. He wasn’t trying to hand his brother reasons to be angry. As Jacob sought favor from Esau, so he says God favored him; graciously is the same word translated as favor in verses 10 and 15.
Then the family started to arrive in their assigned shifts. Zilpah and Bilhah drew near along with Dan, Naphtali, Gad, and Asher, and bowed down. Leah likewise and [Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun] drew near, and they bowed down. And last Joseph and Rachel drew near, and they bowed down. Joseph is the only son actually named. The arrangement was a show of deference as a parade before an esteemed authority. Israel prepared the family to honor their uncle and brother-in-law respectively.
After introductions were made, Esau said, “What do you mean by all this company that I met?” In other words, “Why have you sent me all these stinking animals?” Jacob answered directly and honestly: ”To find favor in the sight of my lord.” Money can’t buy love, it can sometimes buy reprieve.
But Esau says, or at least he politely replies, that the gifts are unnecessary. Then the brothers are arguing again, just like old times. What’s different this time is that they argue about giving rather than taking. “You keep it.” “No, please, accept it.” Jacob wants Esau to have his things rather than Jacob wanting to have Esau’s things.
Jacob even compares Esau with God. ”I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of God ,and you have accepted me.” Earlier that morning Jacob saw the face of God and named the place Penuel. God didn’t destroy Jacob. Neither now does Esau.
Then Jacob takes a verbal risk by using a word that could break the happy mood. ”Please accept my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough.” Jacob had avoided using the word “wife” and up till now he has avoided saying “blessing.” Why pick the scab, right? But he’s showing an open-handedness unlike his previous history with his brother. Jacob’s “‘I will not let you go unless you bless me’ now becomes, in effect, ‘I will not let you go unless you accept my gift’” (Hamilton). In the push-of-war, Esau gives in.
Esau and Jacob appear to be reconciled but they don’t stay together very long at all. It’s Hi and Goodbye.
Esau came out to greet Jacob expecting that Jacob was coming to visit him at his house. Esau didn’t come to intercept Jacob let alone to kill him. Jacob had other ideas.
Then Esau said, “Let us journey on our way, and I will go ahead of you.” As if he said, “Follow me and I’ll show you how to get to my place.” But for possibly artificial reasons, Jacob begs off.
“My lord knows that the children are frail, and that the nursing flocks and herds are a care to me. If they are driven hard for one day, all the flocks will die. Let my lord pass on ahead of his servant, and I will lead on slowly, at the pace of the livestock that are ahead of me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.” (Genesis 33:13–14)
This is true, and somewhat true, and maybe not true at all. It is true that Esau and his 400 men travelled differently than Jacob, his wives, children, and herds. Although Esau now had at least 550 animals to bring along. It is somewhat true that children are frail, at least compared to Esau’s band. But as far as we know Jacob’s children had made the trip from Paddan-Aram okay. Likewise with the flocks; they were nursing and so requiring extra attention. But why not mention his own hip? Besides, Esau didn’t say how fast they had to go. What as probably not true at all was Jacob’s intention to go to Esau’s house. He never actually makes it there.
Jacob was thankful for his brother’s favor and also did not intend to test it out any more. Maybe the argument about gift-giving brought back enough familiar feelings from before. So he tactfully, if not insincerely, seeks Esau’s favor to stay back and go slowly.
Esau agrees, but he offers Jacob the help of some men to escort the group. ”Let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.” Jacob doesn’t want this either; more people to be uncertain about. So he replies, ”What need is there? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord.” Jacob wants Esau to be gracious by not leaving any of his men, and Jacob still won’t call Esau, “brother.”
Esau agreed and departed that day for home, on his way to Seir. Other than meeting Jacob to bury their dad (Genesis 35:29), Esau’s story is finished in Genesis. He seems to have genuinely forgiven Jacob, and also to be completely okay with leaving Jacob alone.
But Jacob journeyed to Succoth, and built himself a house and made booths for his livestock. Therefore the name of the place is called Succoth, or “Boothplace” or “Place of the Sheds.” He does not go to see Esau. He does stop in an odd place, on the edge of Canaan, maybe to recover for a while, maybe to avoid interaction with anyone else. Why didn’t he go to Seir, though? Because it was still around 100 miles away? Because he was on a direct path to see his father? Why not just say that he vowed to God to go to Bethel and worship?
The final paragraph summarizes the next stage in Jacob’s journey and sets up the stage for conflict in the next chapter.
He came safely to the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan. The LORD brought him back to Canaan as the LORD said He would in chapter 28, though Shechem is not quite Bethel. Jacob is back and buys the second piece of property owned by the patriarchs in the promised land. We don’t know exactly how much money this money was worth, but he bought the place for his tents. We’ll see more from the sons of Hamor in Genesis 34.
There he erected an altar and called it El-Elohe-Israel. Shechem is the first place Abraham made an altar (Genesis 12:6-9). Jacob now worshipped here and referred to the “God—the God of Israel.” Jacob said that if God brought him back in peace, then God would be his God.
“If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father’s house in peace, then the LORD shall be my God…. (Genesis 28:20–21)
He isn’t a personal god, a local deity, but rather the Almighty, Transcendent, Maker who has chosen Israel for Himself. God is personal to Jacob, but not for Jacob only.
Why did Jacob find favor with Esau? Was it because of the gifts? Was it because of the bowing and surrender and calling him “lord”? Was it just that enough time had gone by? It could be all of the above, but it cannot be only the above. Can we purchase reconciliation with enough generosity, humility, and years? If so, then we don’t need a Savior.
Esau probably couldn’t explain why he behaved the way he did, at least not completely. From what we know about him, he didn’t have the categories to account for his change of heart. Jacob did. We do. The LORD did not choose Esau as part of the covenant, but He did choose to temper his temper by common grace. After reading God’s promises and commands and Jacob’s prayers to God for deliverance, can we give credit to Jacob for appeasing his brother? God forbid.
We see God’s particular grace to Israel as he finds favor in Esau’s eyes, as Israel is brought safely home, as Israel worships. These are not things Israel accomplished on his own. God graciously gave him wives, children, herds, protection, and a place. God graciously chose to be Israel’s God.